The Foolhardy Six at 25
by Gordon Dioxide
The Foolhardy Six were now grown up.
At least, they were supposed to be grown up.
They were about 25-years-old, and were still just as foolhardy as when they were children.
This means that they were still just as careless, thoughtless and reckless as ever.
In case you haven't met them before, let me introduce them:
Scarlett was the leader. She was now a fashion designer, specialising in red clothes.
Oliver was one of those people who walks around listening to loud rap music on headphones. He was big, strong and good at sport. However, he did suffer from headaches and nobody could work out why.
Chloe was now a famous scientist. She had discovered a cure for big ears, using sharp scissors and a bandage.
Angadoon was now an audiologist, a doctor that specialises in hearing problems.
Neil was now a skiing instructor.
Bartleblink was now the boss of the world's most foolhardy construction company. She was building a wooden bridge from Canada to Australia, to make it easier for people to travel between the two countries.
She needed staff to work on the project, so she recruited her five friends.
A 9,000-mile wooden bridge needs a lot of wood, so Oliver and Scarlett cut down every tree in Canada. This was a very silly thing to do, and it made some Canadians and bears quite cross.
But Bartleblink was delighted with their efforts, and Neil pushed all the tree trunks to Vancouver, the city where the bridge was to start.
I forgot to mention that Neil was a rhinoceros. He was also a Norwegian, but that's not really relevant.
Bartleblink asked Oliver to start cutting the tree trunks into planks of wood, but he didn't hear her.
So instead, Chloe had to take on the job of operating the big electric circular saw.
As you can imagine, a foolhardy scientist like Chloe isn't the ideal person to be operating such a dangerous machine.
She did succeed in cutting up the tree trunks, but she also succeeded in cutting up an ice hockey arena, a maple syrup factory and Vancouver itself.
The Canadians were starting to get very angry with this foolish construction project, and they told Oliver to gather up his friends and leave the country.
But he didn't hear.
Work continued, and the wooden bridge gradually began to take shape over the Pacific Ocean.
After five months they had reached Hawaii, and Neil saw some people surfing.
He thought it looked fun and quite easy.
So Chloe carved him a maple wood surfboard, and strapped it to his four feet.
Then he waited for a big wave, and off he went!
He wobbled and wobbled, and tipped forwards and backwards and this way and that way and leftways and rightways, until suddenly the wave blew up into a big tidal wave tsunami and hurled him into the top of an extinct volcano.
The sudden impact of a tsunami and a rhinoceros caused the sleeping volcano to spring back to life!
Hot magma exploded from the volcano, covering the ocean with fire and molten rock for miles around!
And this caused the wooden bridge to catch fire!
What a disaster! The bridge burnt down and five months work had been wasted.
But luckily the six friends were safe. Neil had landed on a ship that was heading for Vancouver. And the other five had managed to run back to Vancouver on the burning bridge, with the flames chasing them.
They were back to square one.
Bartleblink realised that they'd been foolhardy to use wood as the building material.
"We need to use something that won't burn. Do you have any ideas?" she asked.
"I would suggest metal" said Angadoon.
"Or concrete" said Scarlett.
"Or bricks" said Chloe.
"What was the question?" said Oliver.
Bartleblink thought for a moment and then made her decision.
"Bricks" she cried "we'll rebuild the bridge with bricks!".
And so that's what they did.
They got the bricks by demolishing every house in Canada, and over the next ten months built a beautiful strong bridge all the way to Brisbane on the coast of Australia.
They were very proud. Nobody had ever built such a long bridge before.
But the Canadians and the bears weren't proud. They were fuming! They had no houses and no trees.
And the Australians weren't proud either. They were just confused, as they hadn't been told about this new bridge coming down from Canada.
What happened next will shock you.
The Canadian government got very angry and banished the Foolhardy Six from Canada! They were told to leave the country and never return!
So, sadly, they packed up their belongings and headed home.
Now, I forgot to mention that Neil, the Norwegian rhinoceros, had a young son.
As you'd expect, he was called Neilsen Neilsensen.
He was one of the kindest rhinos in the world.
And he'd been helping the Foolhardy Six build the bridge. I suppose they should have been known as the Foolhardy Seven.
Anyway, he was still in Canada and he was determined to put things right.
So he trotted down the bridge to Australia, and told the Australians about the problems they were having in Canada.
And the Australians kindly agreed to help.
A team of 500 men, women, kangaroos and koalas marched up the bridge all the way to Canada.
There they helped rebuild all the houses, as well as the ice hockey arena and the maple syrup factory.
The Canadians were delighted. They now had homes, entertainment and food.
One million trees were planted, so the bears were also delighted.
The young rhino was a hero!
The Foolhardy Six were thrilled to read all about his heroics in the newspaper.
The headline was "YOUNG NEIL HAS A HEART OF GOLD".
Have you been listening? Let's find out:
1. What is Scarlett's job?
2. Why was Chloe famous?
3. Who destroyed Vancouver with a circular saw?
4. What was the full name of the young rhino?
5. What food do Canadians eat?